When Old Friends Don't 'Get' Homeschooling
By Heather Idoni
Added Thursday, October 29, 2009
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The Homeschooler's Notebook
Encouragement and Advice for Homeschool Families
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Vol. 10 No 80 October 29, 2009
ISSN: 1536-2035
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Copyright (c) 2009 - Heather Idoni, FamilyClassroom.net
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Welcome to The Homeschooler's Notebook!
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IN THIS ISSUE:
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Guest Article
-- Non-Homeschooling Friends
Helpful Tip
-- American Math Challenge
Winning Website
-- Math Guide
Reader Question
-- A Reading Disorder?
Additional Notes
-- Newsletter Archives
-- Sponsorship Information
-- Reprint Information
-- Subscriber Information
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Guest Article
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Your Friends and Homeschooling
by Barbara Frank
How's it going with your non-homeschooling friends? Do they get
what you're doing? Do they think you're crazy? Or are they just
drifting away...?
A dear friend of mine and I lost our friendship over homeschooling.
It wasn't that she was mad at me for choosing to homeschool, and I
doubt that she felt guilty that she wasn't doing it. Those are the
usual reasons that friends split up over homeschooling, at least
from what I've heard. No, my friend was thrilled to put her kids
in school and go back to a job she loved and missed while staying
home while the kids were little. I think we just drifted apart
because I was so busy having babies and homeschooling them while
she was busy working and going back for more education.
Now we just send Christmas cards to each other. As far as I can
tell, her kids have grown up fine, and everyone is doing well. I'm
happy for her. But do I miss her?
A little. I guess I'm just more comfortable with the homeschooling
crowd. They get me. They get what my life is like. And I get them.
To make things even better, being a homeschool mom means finding
new friends all over the place. I meet them at conferences, when
I speak to support groups, and online. No matter how they homeschool
(Charlotte Mason, traditional, unschooling, etc.), we have the joy
of homeschooling our kids in common.
So don't be blue if homeschooling has put some distance between you
and the friend(s) you used to hang out with. You're in a different
season of your life, and that may call for new friends. They're out
there waiting to meet you. Why not find a local support group or
an online group and start making new friends?
---
Copyright 2009 Barbara Frank/Cardamom Publishers
Barbara Frank is the mother of four homeschooled-from-birth children
ages 16-26, a freelance writer/editor, and the author of "Life Prep
for Homeschooled Teenagers", "The Imperfect Homeschooler's Guide to
Homeschooling", and "Homeschooling Your Teenagers". You'll find her
at http://www.cardamompublishers.com and http://barbarafrankonline.com/
For making new friends, Barb highly recommends The Homeschool Lounge!
http://www.thehomeschoollounge.com
---
Do you have comments to share? Please do!
Send your emails to: mailto:heather@familyclassroom.net
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Helpful Tip
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November 9 - 16, 2009
Homeschool students aged 9-14 from across America are invited to
battle it out in an exciting online math challenge, competing
live, in a safe, multiplayer game environment.
It's completely FREE and there are exciting prizes to be won!
Students will have the task of answering as many correct questions
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Free registration: www.americanmathchallenge.com
---
Do you have an idea, experience, or tip to share? Please write!
Send to: mailto:HN-ideas@familyclassroom.net
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Winning Website
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Math Guide.com
This site provides numerous lessons in algebra, geometry and
pre-calculus. In addition to the lessons, the site will generate
quizzes which consist of random problems. The student gets instant
feedback regarding their answer with each problem. Although it is
designed with classroom teachers in mind, homeschool families will
find it a helpful resource.
-- Cindy, www.HomeschoolingFromTheHeart.com
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Last Issue's Reader Question
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"I have been home educating my son (14) and daughter (12) for 2
years now and I enjoy it. I'm not sure where to start, so I'll
just begin. My son becomes easily frustrated while trying to read.
He mispronounces or puts letters that don't belong in the word
while he reads. He doesn't comprehend what we he reads unless I
read it -- and then he understands it. He speeds through reading
without realizing that he is missing 1 or 2 words in each sentence.
My question is, is this a type of reading disorder that I need to
be concerned about or is it that he's just not into reading? Or
maybe I'm being too picky about it? This has been a concern since
he could independently read. Do you have any advice/suggestions
to help us get through this? Thanks in advance." -- Hawaiian Mom
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Our Readers' Responses
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"Our daughter had a problem similar to what you describe with your
son. In Florida we do portfolio evaluations. After an evaluation
and testing our daughter, our homeschool evaluator felt she could
benefit from vision therapy. When given information orally she was
able to comprehend, narrate and analyze information above her current
grade level; her problem was with written language. At the time
our insurance did not cover vision therapy -- and we couldn't afford
to pay for it privately.
The evaluator gave us a couple of recommendations including going
back and reviewing basic phonics, having her read below her reading
grade level. We made a ruler out of plain white poster board to
help her visually stay on line with what she was reading. When she
made a mistake she re-read the entire sentence and didn't just simply
correct the word. We made her reading program our school 'anchor'.
Every member of the family read with her. Sometimes she did all the
reading -- other times she read alternate pages, or read every other
paragraph. We tried to vary the process to help train her mind and
eyes to focus on the material. Because she was reading way below
her reading grade level, we covered up anything in the book that
might be distracting -- such as pictures and even the opposite page.
Our daughter progressed rapidly this way; it took a little over 3
years to get her on reading and comprehension grade level. Today
she is a sophomore and at times reads college level material. She
wants the challenge of CLEPing out of certain classes, and feels
confident that she can comprehend the material.
I exhort you to try some of these ideas, but even more so to have
your son's eyes tested.
Here is a good article about the problem:
http://www.aoa.org/x5340.xml
On this same site you can search for a doctor who is trained in
evaluating this type of problem." -- Judy in Florida
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"This is a significant issue that needs to be addressed as soon as
possible. If your son doesn't like reading, it is because there is
a real, functional reason why reading is difficult for him. My two
oldest children had similar issues. My son could read a textbook
chapter -- or even a page -- over and over again, and insist the
answer to the question wasn't located anywhere. Yet if I read
the same material out loud to him he could immediately find the
answer. My daughter would read and leave out small words, or
parts of words. She did the same thing with her writing. When
we came across information about vision therapy and did a brief
screening online, I was quickly convinced that there was something
that would help them. After nine months of therapy, they had
significantly improved their reading skills and their academics.
They spent so many years feeling stupid, and yet it was just that
their eyes had not properly learned how to work together.
I strongly recommend that you look at the following web pages:
http://www.childrensvision.com/reading.htm
(An excellent overview of various vision related learning issues)
http://www.childrensvision.com/symptoms.htm
(A screening tool to see if vision related issues are causing
reading problems)
Please do follow up on this. It can be expensive and time
consuming, but it will make a world of difference for your son.
You won't regret it." -- Laurie
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"I'm no expert but that definitely sounds like a learning disability
to me. I'm looking into getting my son tested right now, and my
husband has a learning disability, so we're dealing with that right
now as well. I was really opposed to testing my son at first
because I don't like the labeling, but since I'm his teacher I
decided I need to know how to teach him better. I don't want him
to suffer like his father did. If you can, why not have him tested?
It might make him feel better if he is diagnosed -- then he'll know
that he's not 'stupid' and his brain just works a bit differently.
He (and you) will need to find a few work-arounds, that's all.
My husband never got diagnosed and had to persevere without any
encouragement. I'm sure you wouldn't want that for your son. At
least he's already in the best environment he could be with a LD
and with the best teacher -- you!" -- Katherine
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"My son (11) has also has trouble with reading. He can read but
does pronounce words wrong sometimes. He also gets frustrated --
I have noticed that some of the words he misses are the ones that
should be the easiest (the, there, was, were, not, for, from, etc.).
The closer I watched him the more I realized that it must be a
focus or processing/learning disability.
To rule out other problems, I had his eyes and ears tested. We
also had him tested for ADHD and, at the request of his teacher
last year, had him tested for learning disabilities. The conclusion
was that he was ADHD/inattentive... he is not hyper but is very
inattentive. Because he has a hard time focusing, he has a hard
time reading. It is important to have the testing done and get
a diagnosis because it will give him some benefits when he does
testing later in life and throughout his life (ie: A 504 plan allows
him to have extra time to finish tests, etc.).
We have also done vision therapy (which helps him compensate) and
tutoring. I have him do brain games at www.lumosity.com. I am
not doing tutoring this year because we are home schooling, so I
just make sure we spend more time on the areas he is weak in. There
are lots of websites and research on learning disabilities; here are
a few that I like:
http://www.diannecraft.org/article-003.htm
(Tips on identifying learning disabilities and teaching the right
brain learner)
http://www.hslda.org/strugglinglearner/sn_checklists.asp
http://school.familyeducation.com/add-and-adhd/cognition/42719.html
http://www.addhelpsite.com/ADD-simulation.htm
The research is endless.
Also, we did try the ADHD medications to get him through the 4th
grade last year and I do think it helped, but it also made him sick.
Since I am home schooling this year we decided not to do the medicine.
It is so important to find a way to help your son so that he will
gain confidence in this area. Keep him plugged in and active, doing
things he enjoys to promote confidence. My son enjoys art, so we
make sure he has lots of art books, magazines and projects to work
on. Good luck finding the right solution for your son." -- Kelly M.
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Answer our NEW Question
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"We have a 7-year-old boy that may have ADHD. I haven't had him
tested, but he checks out according to the lists. I have a few
questions:
1) When we get together with grandparents and cousins, he gets
overstimulated. It is hard for him to control his energy when he
is so excited and having fun. Does anyone have any strategy for
training kids to calm down on their own, and does it include rewards
or consequences?
2) My son is very talkative, and I've told him that it is a gift
that he should use wisely. We talk a lot, but I also teach him that
there is a value in learning when to be quiet. When he gets an idea
in his mind, he feels like he needs to say it right away, even if it
interrupts. I have worked with him, but it doesn't sink in yet, and
we have run into public situations where he really needed to be quiet.
Any training suggestions for interrupting?
3) Complaining can really become an issue at times. I work with him
on re-phrasing to say something positive and not to predict the future.
When he gets too excited or bummed while playing games, I try to
remind him to keep his attitude neutral and level because we all lose
at some point. It's still hard for him. Any tips for complaining or
bad sportsmanship -- training, rewards or consequences? Will he
mature through some of this?
4) I would like to do some speech therapy with him and wondered if
anyone has any tips to help a child say their 'R', 'L', and 'S'
sounds. I know that tongue positioning is key, but I don't know how
to explain it to him, and he just gets frustrated.
There is so much experience in this group, so thanks for your help!"
-- Anne
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Would you like to respond to one or more Anne's questions?
Please send your email to: mailto:HN-answers@familyclassroom.net
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